How'd it feel making her break her religion?
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Randomize
