so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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