he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Randomize
