I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
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