And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
