There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
