Buhtt sex?
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Randomize
