If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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