apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
