Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
