last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
