when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
