Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize