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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome

  Fav 4 1860 792

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• (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.

  (1-781): View more from Massachusetts

  I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.

  Fav 19 6470 966

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• (651): View more from Minnesota

  I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.

  Fav 7 4144 1275

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• (719): View more from Colorado

  That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.

  Fav 8 1661 906

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• (647): View more from Ontario

  Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first

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• (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.

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• (815): View more from Illinois

  When did angry sex become our thing?

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• (614): View more from Ohio

  yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.

  Fav 1 872 486

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• (314): View more from Missouri

  Woke up backwards on a recliner

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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!

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• (518): View more from New York

  Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????

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• (830): View more from Texas

  While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.

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• (928): View more from Arizona

  well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public

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