So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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