Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
