in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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