Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
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