I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Shame - the story of my life.
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