You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
