I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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