Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize