i think my tv is drunk
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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