How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
