Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Randomize