wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
