He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Randomize
