About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize