Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
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