BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
