if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Randomize