So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
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