Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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