so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
I woke up under a house in Key West
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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