Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
He did a backflip because drugs
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
