Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
