I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
