how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
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