Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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