make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
