so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
