I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Randomize
