Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Just pee around me
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize
