dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Randomize
