flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
