You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
