A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
True but thats because hes a fetus.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
This baby is an asshole
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Randomize
