you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
