LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
