dude i'm inner monologue high
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
