It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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