Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
