It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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