Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
