is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
