Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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