They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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