franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
