Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
