your thong is hanging out like whoa
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
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