bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
