We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize