I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Randomize
