Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
