You made me cry and you don't even care
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Randomize
