so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
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