I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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