I feel like abortions should bother me more
Fuck appropriateness.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Randomize