Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
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