is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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