I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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