Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
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