some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
