Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
