I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Randomize
