areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
What did we do last night that was yellow?
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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